Untitled
Looking around at all the pain that was dealt.
Trying to feel what I never should have felt.
Holding back on the tears as they start to fall.
And watching my fears all grow oh so tall.
This pain feels so real.
Im only trying to deal.
But I cant go on.
Tell me what went wrong
Gripping my sides so tight.
As I try to put up a good fight.
I won one battle.
But I then began to rattle.
Making no sense at this time.
The cliff edge is simply a jagged rhyme.
I whisper goodbye to all that I will leave.
Slowly as I begin to retrieve.
Spreading my arms feeling the breeze.
This feeling will finally seize.
No more pain or war.
This world I no longer stand for.
Hitting the blue.
The feeling is true.
My tears disappear.
And I slip out of fear.
Choking for air.
No one seems to care.
My eyes close.
And thats when I rose.
Watching so silently over the clouds.
Smiling because for once I am proud.
I ever only wanted it to go away.
So I watch as you pray.
Sweet angel of mine I love you so.
Why ever did you go?
5 comments October 28, 2009 waterghoul
Qualities
One of my friends and I were talking about types of guys and he asked me what type of guy I like. I responded that I don’t have a specific type of guy that I like (ig: nerd, emo, jock), he responded that every girl has a specific type. Well I thought about it and I still don’t think I have a type of guy, I just have qualities that I like in guys. And here they are (not in any specific order) and the reasons behind them:
- He needs to be taller than me. Because in all my five foot twoidness that shouldn’t be too hard.
- He needs a sense of humor that will make me laugh, even if it’s at myself. I know it’s not good but I’m a fairly moody person at times so I need someone who will help bring me out of my black moods because I’m not a real fun person to be around at these times.
- So he needs Self-confidence. Lots of self-confidence, because like I said, sometimes I’m not the most fun person to be around.
- He can’t be a wimp. I hate people like that, not just guys, chicks too.
- He has to know what he wants. I hate being the person that makes all the decisions,
- Needs to be at least as smart as I am. I’m a fairly smart person so I want someone who I can discuss my thoughts with. If he doesn’t get how I came up with my conclusions that’s fine as long as he can challenge my way of thinking because it’s fun to debate.
- Has to look good. I think that one is fairly self explanatory, but I’ll explain anyway. He doesn’t have to look good to anyone but me but it would be nice if he would make at least that much of an effort/
These next few are just preferences
- Likes music. I love music, in fact I have it playing all the time. I play 3 instruments, Flute, Piano, and guitar.
- He should probably like animals. I tend to adopt everyone in sight.
ANd to finish it all off. This one is not a request, in fact it is the only thing that is absolute. He has to at the very least like me.
Add comment October 28, 2009 waterghoul
The Two Sides Of Me
Nobody knows it but there is a canyon in me
It splits me in two
Across the gap stretches a rope that is starting to unwind
And separates the sides of me
On one side there is the child me
She created a world where pain never existed
She is perfect
Time has never touched er
She is sweet and innocent
She will never grow up
Always the child
She will never learn that the world is a harsh place
She wears a tiara and a party dress
Sitting in a friendly forest, surrounded by her friends and family
She will always be able to swim in the sea
She will always be able to dream of above the clouds
She refuses to look at the canyon
Pretends it doesn’t exist
Believing if she if she doesn’t look at it, it will eventually go away.
On the other side is the adult me
She lives in a world where all she knows is pain
She only sees her faults
She has lived a life
She is sarcastic
She knows the truth
She is tired
She doesn’t remember what it’s like to be happy.
She’s forgotten how to smile
Lost in a labyrinth pain, she’s given up on the world
Her jeans are faded and torn, her shirt is in tatters
Her arms are covered by a million little cuts
She holds a knife in her hand
Her tears are blood
Her eye are lifeless
She died long ago
She no longer laughs
She lives a life she has grown to hate.
AS she watches the little girl across the canyon
The ground under her feet starts to crumble
wishing she could get to the other side, she doesn’t see the rope
Holding the rope that stretches between the two is the ghost
She lives in a world of uncertainty
A cold wind tries to knock this fragile spirit from her precarious perch
She is bruised and battered
She hangs onto the rope with one hand though
Her other hand is reaching out to the adult me
Ready to catch her if ever she were to fall
She has the innocence of the child, but the wisdom of the adult
SHe hasn’t given up yet
She still remembers how to hope
Still remembers how to dream
She doesn’t want to disappear
Doesn’t want to fall
But the longer she stands there
The deeper the canyon gets
The wider it becomes
So that more of the rope begins to break
Another strand snaps, cutting her skin
SHe know no one is coming to her rescue
She has to save herself
She knows if her grip were to slip
If ever she were to fall
The other two would die as well
She is the only one who can bind the other two together
She refuses to see the situation as hopeless
She refuses to die
Ignored by the other two, she calls out again and again
But it’s hard to get someone’s attention when they don’t know you exist
But how can a person be whole
When there is a windswept canyon
Residing in her soul
Add comment October 12, 2009 waterghoul
Hello world!
Umm… hello. I don’t actually know if someone is going to read this. As this is my first post I suppose I should tell about me. I don’t feel like I am, but my family contiually tells me that I’m a geek, or a nerd. Just as they say that I am, I tell them that I’m not. I like to write and read. Mostly fiction.
I love animal’s; I almost have two cats. One of them is a grey striped tabby cat that hangs around…alot and the other and the other is a tuxedo kitty. Let me describe them. The grey tabby is named Lynx because that’s what he looks like, a tiny Lynx. He’s really sweet and loves playing with my nieces and nephew. But he’s an outside cat, not house broken. He’s really cute. Sasha on the other hand is…Sasha. She has got to be the pickiest kiten about who she likes. Right now that number is maybe two and a half…on a god day. she’s really sweet when she want to be though. Anything that can be pushed around becomes a toy 
. This includes crumpled up paper, linking logs, coins, a small rubics cube, her brother’s (Slick) tail, and my hands. She’s always graceful (including when she falls).
Add comment October 11, 2009 waterghoul
