Waterghoul's Blog

Friends part 1

waterghoul — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 06:50:55 +0000

I have come to realize why I was a loner though out school. I don’t have the energy it takes to have tons of friends. Or rather to referee the fights between people trying to become friends with me. At first it was kinda fun that I was popular at work, but now it’s just irritating. Don’t get me wrong I like that people are willing to try to get to know me, but I’m tired of my actual friends feeling like they have to compete for my attention. So I had to come up with a plan as to remove any jealousy, it was one of those plans that could have been thought out better; I’ll just spend one week with one friend and then the next week I’ll spend with my other friend (I have very few actual friends, the grand total right now is 2) . (I told you it could have been thought out better), You probably already see the problem, specially those of you that are very independent, I have no time for myself or my family, after all I put them through they deserve some of my time too. So I had to come up with a better plan. I’m still waiting.

waterghoul — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 06:37:34 +0000

This is a fictitious story. Any resemblance to something you’ve encountered is purely coincidence. This hasn’t happened to me.

Daddy please
Please dont do this
I dont want to do this
Please, please dont make me do this
He ignored his little girls protests
He told her she would always be his number one girl
If only she would do just one little favor
She wanted to make him happy
She didnt want to make him angry
He handed her the knife
And she cut into her wrists with all her might
Tears ran down her cheek from the pain
She called out to her father
cause he said hed always be there for her
“Help me Daddy
Daddy please help me
It hurts Daddy
Please take away the pain
Daddy?
DADDY?!”
But he was already gone
He had left his little girl
Even though he knew he was her whole world.
Her world came crashing down
She felt so alone
But the little girl wanted to remain
And find that bastard she had called Daddy
She covered her wrists with gauze
And when she stood up she received applause
Then one day she found him
“Daddy I just wanted you to apprehend
That there is only one way this could end
You hurt me daddy
Now that you know this
Its time for you to go
You dont have to run
Because I just realized youre not even worth the bullet in this gun

Untitled

waterghoul — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 05:30:44 +0000

Looking around at all the pain that was dealt.
Trying to feel what I never should have felt.
Holding back on the tears as they start to fall.
And watching my fears all grow oh so tall.
This pain feels so real.
Im only trying to deal.
But I cant go on.
Tell me what went wrong

Gripping my sides so tight.
As I try to put up a good fight.
I won one battle.
But I then began to rattle.
Making no sense at this time.
The cliff edge is simply a jagged rhyme.
I whisper goodbye to all that I will leave.
Slowly as I begin to retrieve.
Spreading my arms feeling the breeze.
This feeling will finally seize.
No more pain or war.
This world I no longer stand for.
Hitting the blue.
The feeling is true.
My tears disappear.
And I slip out of fear.
Choking for air.
No one seems to care.
My eyes close.
And thats when I rose.
Watching so silently over the clouds.
Smiling because for once I am proud.
I ever only wanted it to go away.
So I watch as you pray.
Sweet angel of mine I love you so.
Why ever did you go?

Qualities

waterghoul — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 05:02:36 +0000

One of my friends and I were talking about types of guys and he asked me what type of guy I like. I responded that I don’t have a specific type of guy that I like (ig: nerd, emo, jock), he responded that every girl has a specific type. Well I thought about it and I still don’t think I have a type of guy, I just have qualities that I like in guys. And here they are (not in any specific order) and the reasons behind them:

He needs to be taller than me. Because in all my five foot twoidness that shouldn’t be too hard.
He needs a sense of humor that will make me laugh, even if it’s at myself. I know it’s not good but I’m a fairly moody person at times so I need someone who will help bring me out of my black moods because I’m not a real fun person to be around at these times.
So he needs Self-confidence. Lots of self-confidence, because like I said, sometimes I’m not the most fun person to be around.
He can’t be a wimp. I hate people like that, not just guys, chicks too.
He has to know what he wants. I hate being the person that makes all the decisions,
Needs to be at least as smart as I am. I’m a fairly smart person so I want someone who I can discuss my thoughts with. If he doesn’t get how I came up with my conclusions that’s fine as long as he can challenge my way of thinking because it’s fun to debate.
Has to look good. I think that one is fairly self explanatory, but I’ll explain anyway. He doesn’t have to look good to anyone but me but it would be nice if he would make at least that much of an effort/

These next few are just preferences

Likes music. I love music, in fact I have it playing all the time. I play 3 instruments, Flute, Piano, and guitar.
He should probably like animals. I tend to adopt everyone in sight.

ANd to finish it all off. This one is not a request, in fact it is the only thing that is absolute. He has to at the very least like me.

The Two Sides Of Me

waterghoul — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 03:23:36 +0000

Nobody knows it but there is a canyon in me

It splits me in two

Across the gap stretches a rope that is starting to unwind

And separates the sides of me

On one side there is the child me

She created a world where pain never existed

She is perfect

Time has never touched er

She is sweet and innocent

She will never grow up

Always the child

She will never learn that the world is a harsh place

She wears a tiara and a party dress

Sitting in a friendly forest, surrounded by her friends and family

She will always be able to swim in the sea

She will always be able to dream of above the clouds

She refuses to look at the canyon

Pretends it doesn’t exist

Believing if she if she doesn’t look at it, it will eventually go away.

On the other side is the adult me

She lives in a world where all she knows is pain

She only sees her faults

She has lived a life

She is sarcastic

She knows the truth

She is tired

She doesn’t remember what it’s like to be happy.

She’s forgotten how to smile

Lost in a labyrinth pain, she’s given up on the world

Her jeans are faded and torn, her shirt is in tatters

Her arms are covered by a million little cuts

She holds a knife in her hand

Her tears are blood

Her eye are lifeless

She died long ago

She no longer laughs

She lives a life she has grown to hate.

AS she watches the little girl across the canyon

The ground under her feet starts to crumble

wishing she could get to the other side, she doesn’t see the rope

Holding the rope that stretches between the two is the ghost

She lives in a world of uncertainty

A cold wind tries to knock this fragile spirit from her precarious perch

She is bruised and battered

She hangs onto the rope with one hand though

Her other hand is reaching out to the adult me

Ready to catch her if ever she were to fall

She has the innocence of the child, but the wisdom of the adult

SHe hasn’t given up yet

She still remembers how to hope

Still remembers how to dream

She doesn’t want to disappear

Doesn’t want to fall

But the longer she stands there

The deeper the canyon gets

The wider it becomes

So that more of the rope begins to break

Another strand snaps, cutting her skin

SHe know no one is coming to her rescue

She has to save herself

She knows if her grip were to slip

If ever she were to fall

The other two would die as well

She is the only one who can bind the other two together

She refuses to see the situation as hopeless

She refuses to die

Ignored by the other two, she calls out again and again

But it’s hard to get someone’s attention when they don’t know you exist

But how can a person be whole

When there is a windswept canyon

Residing in her soul

Hello world!

waterghoul — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 04:03:51 +0000

Umm… hello. I don’t actually know if someone is going to read this. As this is my first post I suppose I should tell about me. I don’t feel like I am, but my family contiually tells me that I’m a geek, or a nerd. Just as they say that I am, I tell them that I’m not. I like to write and read. Mostly fiction.

I love animal’s; I almost have two cats. One of them is a grey striped tabby cat that hangs around…alot and the other and the other is a tuxedo kitty. Let me describe them. The grey tabby is named Lynx because that’s what he looks like, a tiny Lynx. He’s really sweet and loves playing with my nieces and nephew. But he’s an outside cat, not house broken. He’s really cute. Sasha on the other hand is…Sasha. She has got to be the pickiest kiten about who she likes. Right now that number is maybe two and a half…on a god day. she’s really sweet when she want to be though. Anything that can be pushed around becomes a toy . This includes crumpled up paper, linking logs, coins, a small rubics cube, her brother’s (Slick) tail, and my hands. She’s always graceful (including when she falls).